Welcome to the Boys Club...?

Boys and girls are different. I mean, aside from the obvious physical differences, there is much that separates men and women. It took me years to know the full extent of that truth. If you ask my wife, she may even tell you that I still don't get it. I probably don't. Regardless, the truth still stands: we are created unique in our emotions, our bodies, and our thinking. This is obvious to everyone in the world, everyone in the church, and to God.

We do our best to celebrate diversity in our church services. We celebrate racial diversity, social diversity, and rejoice when people who represent another facet of culture begin being a part of our community. It makes us better. It more accurately reflects the body of Christ and the global nature of the Church. The question in my mind is this: in a place where our leaders are primarily men and spiritual truths regarding gender differences exist, are we celebrating the diversity of gender as much as we should be? If not, how can we show the world that the church is a place where both men and women alike can have the opportunity to reach their full potential?

This is part three of a series of posts responding to Dan Kimball's book, They Like Jesus, But Not the Church. The next grand perception that Dan Kimball says non-believers have about the church today is that it is a place dominated by males which oppresses females.

Just as Dan wrote in his book, writing on this topic gives me a lot of nervous tension. I understand that a person or church's theology certainly dictate their policies about female leadership in the church. I have been in churches that do not allow women to have any part in their services. I have also been in churches that women are permitted to be elders. I know of churches all over the country where a woman holds the senior pastor position. I also know places where women must still wear hats and cannot speak in church at all. I am not (nor is Dan in his book) intending to engage in a debate over whether or not women should be leaders in the church. The point here is to realize what those outside of the church believe about the church--and understand a little bit better why those who are 18-35 may be reluctant to set foot in our services or our communities.

No matter what your theological opinion is on this issue, take a look at the way you communicate your belief to your congregation or to those you engage in discussion with about topics like this one. The church should be a place that everyone sees women are valued more than any other. If there is one place that people can turn to in order to see the value that God puts on females, it should be in the church. As it stands now, for the most part, women are recognized as wonderful leaders outside of the church walls. Inside, not only are they not recognized as such, they are told that they cannot even be leaders. I know I am generalizing here, but so do those who refuse to enter churches week after week. As Kimball writes on page 119, "Jesus would pay attention to how females feel both in the church and society in general."


Biblically, there are arguments on both sides of the matter of women in church leadership. The Bible does speak to the topic of women as elders or pastors. In 1 Timothy 3 we see that elders (or pastors) should adhere to a standard of character. While all of these standards are speaking of men, is there a chance, even remotely, that this is a cultural thing? Women would not even be considered leaders in that day and age. This thought aside, there are good reasons biblically for observing the distinction in genders. In 1 Timothy 2, for example, Paul writes that women should not have authority over a man or teach a man. If he left it there, one could argue it is personal preference. He does, however, go on to say the reason for such a belief, and it is a biblical one. Does that mean that men can learn nothing from women? Absolutely not. I learn things from my wife every day. Is she teaching me? Absolutely... and I am a pastor! Let's not take this farther than it should be taken. So, when does a woman teaching become unbiblical? That is left to the interpreter. If you want to take this passage completely literally, then you cannot have a female sharing a devotion at a small group. You cannot have a woman giving a presentation about children's ministries or women's ministries in church (since she would hopefully share something spiritual as well). You cannot have a woman even participating in a spiritual discussion with other men, since the point of discussion is to learn and exchange ideas. How far down the road are you willing to go? Besides, how many of you have also tried to explain the lines that follow in 1 Timothy that say a woman is saved through childbearing? Go ahead... blog about that one :)

It is obvious that in the grand scheme of things--in eternity--gender does not matter. In Galatians, we read, "There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." So, in Christ, we are all even. However, until eternity, God has given us roles. He is the one who made us what we are. He also gives us instruction on how to manage our lives, our churches and our homes. We cannot, however, lose sight of the equality of value of men and women. This is the thing that the church has done in many ways and it is exactly the thing that people outside the church see as hypocritical--for good reason. We are all created in God's image. So, as Kimball asks on page 121, "As a church, are we reflecting the wholeness of God and the fact that human beings, both males and females, are created in God's image?" I can't tell you the last time I heard that very point brought to the forefront in a message. Are we intentionally making our stance on gender known? Are we empowering women to be all they can be? Or, are we allowing our churches to become boys clubs that we keep girls around in so that we can have meals cooked for us and have the building get decorated nicely?

Let me state plainly... I have never heard a complaint about this attitude at the Chapel in the 4 years I have been here. I just know that this perception about the church does exist, and we need to be aware of it and take action to explain clearly where we stand.

I think Kimball makes some great suggestions at how to tackle some of these issues in churches. We need to have a balance of males and females leading different ministries and participating in the decision making process. If you believe women shouldn't be elders or teachers, that is ok, but what does the Bible say about making them a part of the decision making process? Where does it say they should never speak in our services (and don't give me that stuff from Corinthians. We all know what Paul was addressing there in the Corinthian church)? If you have a stance on females in leadership, learn the biblical grounds for it. Let's not pontificate here. Our authority comes from Scripture, so explain it from Scripture. And don't just explain it to individuals who complain. Make it a part of your teaching. Talk about it in sermons. Discuss it in membership classes. This is nothing to hide. The average Christian needs to be able to explain their position just as well as the pastoral staff or elders. Also, teach them the cultural implications of the day in which it was written. Give them a full understanding of how to interpret the Word. If you have numerous staff members and the only females you have in your office are secretaries, this is, most likely something you should look at honestly.

More than all of this, we should look past policies. Look past our church baggage. When a man or woman comes up to you and asks why you don't have females in leadership in your church or why they never see a woman on the platform on Sunday, what is your answer? Leave your church policy behind. What's in your heart, biblically? And how do you communicate it? It may mean the difference between coming off as a Boys Club or coming off as a glimpse of eternity.