When I look at the Church, I see a place that is the hope of mankind to share the powerful, life-changing beauty of the Gospel. I see groups of people that try to do their best to share the love of Christ with those around them. I see sanctuaries of grace placed in nearly every town in this country--places where, in theory, you should be able to come regardless of race, age, gender, or sexual orientation **cue car crash sound effect**... WAIT... WHAT?!? sexual orientation? you mean GAY people should be welcome here?
yeah... welcome to today's church. I am unmistakably thankful for the fact that the church I attend not only accepts people who are struggling in all ways of life, but welcomes those struggling with homosexuality with open arms.
I told you what i see. Unfortunately, this is what those outside of the church see:
a little different picture, huh? if the photo turns your stomach and down right ticks you off, don't get mad at me. i don't wear red hats... and i'm beginning to think you shouldn't, either.
This is part four of a series of posts responding to Dan Kimball's book, They Like Jesus, But Not the Church. The next grand perception that Dan Kimball says non-believers have about the church today is that it is homophobic.
Let me start out by saying that much of the problem of the way homosexuality is viewed today is semantics. Let me explain: If someone in your church is regularly engaged in pornography or adultery or lies a lot, they don't introduce themselves in this way... "Hi, I'm Peter, and I'm a pervert (or an adulterer, liar... insert sin here)." They don't even introduce themselves as a generic sinner. They usually follow their name with small items like what they do for a living, or how long they've been attending the church, etc. Compare that to the typical conversation from someone struggling with homosexuality who is trying to open up. "I'm gay" is the identifying trait. Their very identity is drawn into a simple three letter word. As the church starts to adopt the same view, they perpetuate the problem. First and foremost, those struggling with homosexuality are sinners like you and I--sinners who are loved by God enough that He would give His life for them. They may have completely different temptations to stray from obedience to God, but don't we all?
I find it very interesting how the soteriology (theology of sin) of many believers and church bodies can be so completely unbiblical. You have the little sins: little white lies... stealing a pen from work... getting an extra dollar from the cashier and pocketing it. Then you have the medium sins: bigger lies... lustful thoughts... light sensual contact... materialism... gambling... laziness... gluttony... gossiping. Next comes the big ones: pornography... fornication... drunkenness... drugs. Then the ultimate peak of sinhood: adultery... murder... and, oh my goodness... homosexuality!! The very label becomes a stigma that many people who struggle with it would rather die than be honest about who they feel they are. At the very heart of all sin is a deep rooted love for self. That innate desire is the same in the person who kills, lies, gets drunk, or sleeps with someone outside of marriage--whether the opposite or the same sex. If we can all see that simple fact, we'd be one baby step closer to truly loving people of all struggles....and if we could only truly love those people, it would change the world. I know it would. I've seen it.
I was 18 years old, living in Chicago. I was going to school for music. I was involved in theatre productions. Those of you who know anything of these fields know I have been highly exposed to many people who have homosexual feelings. I had been doing theatre for years, but was pretty sheltered from it all, until now. I was old enough to 'handle it.' One of my friends was named Tim. He was a super happy guy--gay in the old definition--who also happened to be attracted to men. Because I worked with him all the time, I spent many many hours with him. While he made it clear from the beginning he had feelings for me, I laid down the law very honestly with him in the beginning and told him my boundaries. He respected them. More than that, he completely observed them. In return, I trusted him, and he trusted me. We hung out. We were friends. I never paid any mind to his orientation... that is until he brought it up.
One day we were hanging out, and Tim said... "So, Steve. You know I'm gay." I said, "of course...you don't try to hide it." "Then why do you hang out with me? I mean... you're a Christian, aren't you?" He asked. "You know I am. Jesus has changed my life." I said. Tim followed with a phrase that has stuck with me ever since: "People like you don't accept people like me."At the time, it didn't really register--the gravity of what he was saying. But a decade later, it reminds me of the impact that a simple act like loving people beyond their struggles can have. Tim and I still exchange emails to this day. I don't think he minds me sharing this story. I love Tim. And if you're reading this, Tim, I'm still praying for you--praying that you'll come to know Christ...right where you're at.
What it all comes down to is this: Jesus wants to change lives. He wants the hearts of all of His creation. He doesn't only want their hearts if they'll stop being tempted with homosexual thoughts. He wants their lives even before then. His Spirit will deal with the next steps.
Just as the church needs to be seen as the place that women can thrive more than any other place in the world, the church also needs to be seen as the place that accepts people who engage in homosexuality more than anywhere else in the world. That's a tall order, and it only comes by seeing ourselves in an honest light. We are all the same--undeserving, unlovable, perverse... by nature, objects of wrath. Don't like it? Take it up with the Author. I'm pretty certain he doesn't wear red hats, either.
5 comments:
good post on a difficult topic Steve,
I'm not sure myself why homosexuality is regarded as such a supreme sin in the church. It seems as if both a murderer and a homosexual entered the church doors of most mainsteam churches, the murderer would most likely be accepted more so than the homosexual. It's an odd thing.
I appreciate your heart and thoughts on much of what you said. However, if I can, let me offer what may be the counter balance or at least another perspective.
First, remember all other sins are committed outside the body, but sexual is not. (1 Cor 6:18).
Second, murderers are not trying to organize politically, push for public rights by abolishing other traditional rights (or one may say values), and are not trying to outlaw free speech that is against their practices. (Notice that Roe v Wade actually destroyed many Sates rights, as would a marriage act or gay marriage acceptance of marriage or as hate speech crimes have already eroded our Constitutional rights)
Third, as far as we know, there are no church history or apostolic foundation where someone repented of homosexuality. (I say this to point out Paul was a murderer). But the Corinthians and Romans did seem to be condemned (by a murderer) for this specific behavior.
Fourth, homosexuality is icky.
Now, none of those happen to be my personal view of why the church treats homosexuality differently. In fact, I think they do not treat them differently on a CASE BY CASE basis. That sad fact is, if a murderer and a homosexual both walked through the door of a mainstream church, the typical church would not have a clue what to do anyway. They would probably invite them to a program or suggest the same process they suggest to everyone else (have you tried our Sunday school?) The public out cry from some who consider themselves Christians probably has more to do with confronting the public opinion and political motives than the actual sin factor. Those nut jobs you have a picture of probably feel the same way about movies, drinking, dancing, guys with long hair, Steve, etc… but do not organize to fight it because it’s a harder target to hit.
Maybe I am being too generous here, but I really believe most people in the pews are just plain scared of where American may be headed morally. Homosexuality is an easy target right now, so they attack it out of fear that they are being ineffective and are actually becoming obsolete. And you know what, they may be right.
One final thought, I too am proud to be a part of a church that is making a difference and not just talking a good game. When we all become fully devoted to following Christ, I think we will be more loving but at the same time even more heart broken at the trappings of sin (all sins).
David,
I appreciate your perspective you add to the topic.
I do not argue for a moment that sins are different. What I am questioning is this: does a different sin or quality of a sin change the degree of the sinner? I see a huge difference in the way "ordinary" sinners are treated in the church compared to the way that a "homosexual" is treated.
I do agree that a major difference in this issue is the political power behind it. We cannot be surprised by a secular country's policies that diminish moral values. Without the Spirit in the picture, there is no motivation to uphold God's standards. This is not to say that we should abandon the call for values. My issue is with church culture. While we cannot completely make decisions for government policies (we do, however ,have a voice and responsibility) we can completely make a difference in church policy, truth-telling, and church culture. As you said, most churches would have no idea how to handle someone who is struggling with their sexuality. This is wrong. There are many living in obedience to Christ by not participating in actions which they feel they are drawn to. Unfortunately, the stigma associated with homosexuality does not stop at the church door. This is an issue, not of policy, or even morality. This is a Christ issue--an issue of acceptance based on the sacrifice of our Savior.
While I am concerned about where America is headed morally, I believe with all my heart that the way that Christ makes an impact morally is by sharing HIM... not condemning people for something that they have no motivation to examine, or even the capacity to examine (given that they do not possess the Spirit). Too many times, we're sharing our disdain for an issue, more than we are sharing the real issue...Christ.
My heart breaks for those in bondage to these issues. They feel in bondage as well, but will never truly get a taste of freedom if the Church keeps pushing them away because of their sin--if we all had the same treatment, we'd never know freedom, either.
Another issue I wanted to bring up if I may, is about the church in general. We are called the bride of Christ and frankly, sometimes I have a hard time with the critical spirit (of some) towards Christ's bride. I know if you were to talk bad about my bride, well, let's just say you better be bigger than I am.
I'd agree with you when it comes to "church-bashers". The only thing I'd add is that as a member of Christ's bride, I would be missing the target if I didn't look to better myself and challenge the Church which holds Christ's name. That is the purpose of good discussion about these issues--to better the bride and represent Christ honestly.
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